October 2010
2 posts
maybe that special person really is you.
I’m going crazy.
September 2010
5 posts
I know you read my blog.
And it pains me to say “I told you so” to everything you recently realized went wrong in your life.
I tried saving you, that was my best shot, really.
Unfortunately I’m not good enough, and I’m different than before. I’m just a jerk now and I want to give up.
I want you. But I also want you to start saving yourself.
I miss the old...
because you’re happier the way you are now, and i don’t have to spoil that for you.
I need a drink, I need a smoke, I just want to feel dead.
I’m sad and all I really want is to pour my heart out to you.
Fuck why can’t two lost souls become one when we’re already in front of each other?
August 2010
1 post
I am sad, so sad it makes me sick to my stomach, or even my soul.
May 2010
23 posts
I know I said I quit Tumblr, but I just had to let this out. Since this could very well be my last post ever, I suppose it shouldn’t hurt to share my disappointments with anyone who’s willing(or bored enough) to read.
In my life, I would suppose one of the most important lessons I’ve learnt is to treasure your friends every day. With every moment and opportunity you have,...
Goodbye tumblr, was great having you.
But there are too many people whom I don’t want reading my thoughts, and too many people who don’t really care.
Someone said the opposite of love isn’t hate, its indifference. Thats why I don’t hate you, but I really can’t give any less of a shit about you.
Go away. I don’t want to have anything to do with you ever again.
I am sad. Sad that everything about you consumes me everyday and there is nothing I can do to make the memories that haunt me go away. Sad that I still think of you and sad that I cannot face you.
I can’t stop myself from hurting myself.
See that I’m actually doing you a favour of not fucking your life up for you. At my expense, of course.
Its just like quitting smoking. To have the temptations right there in front of you, but you having to restrain yourself from doing it.
“Your heart just breaks, that’s all. But you can’t judge, or point fingers. You...”
– Audrey Hepburn (via eletheowl)
I’m having my mtfucking macdonalds breakfast at last. I’m happy and nothing- not even you- can change my mind for the duration of this breakfast.
And I’m gonna keep walking because this pain is all I feel now.
It still hurts more than anything in the world to walk away from something you want so badly.
Its obvious I was not important enough.
Because sometimes you know exactly who you love.
However happy I may be in my dreams, it is inversely as sad in reality to realize that it was just a dream.
Think I’ll disappear for a bit.
Why am I living my life this way, and what am I seeking by doing this?
I may not be alone, but that does not change the fact that I feel lonely.
What I am going to do when I wake up tomorrow:
Make myself breakfast. Or brunch. Or actually lunch.
Make myself a cup of coffee.
Not sit in front of my computer for the next 12 hours.
Find something to read.
Feel alone while doing all of the above.
Like a wound that doesn’t close, this just keeps bleeding.
What a nasty scar this will leave.
Lately I’ve been feeling the want to have a proper breakfast. But breakfasts are not breakfasts if you’re all alone.
April 2010
105 posts
Because I’m sad, and who cares?
Good to know that you’re a fucker and you don’t deserve to be our friend.
Because now I’ve tuned myself to do whatever is opposite of what I want, since I already know I never get what I want anyway.
And the want to destroy my life is still within me, hurting every time I think about it.
I feel powerless and talentless. I know I’m certainly more blessed than some others but at the moment I feel useless.
What do you do with a broken heart?
If you really, truly love someone, you can’t stay...
(via jayalzacee)
What’s the use of joy when theres no one to share it with? And what’s the meaning of sadness if you can never be happy after it?
No, it does not feel like I am in death’s clasp; it feels like I’m already part of it.
Life is unfair and my heart is hateful, I resent looking into your eyes knowing it means nothing.
If even lesser creatures can feel love, what am I then to be denied of love?
“We’ve got to find other ways to make it alone; or keep a straight face.”
Paramore - The Only Exception
“All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.”
– Helen Keller (via kari-shma)
There is nothing more to say.
I should not doubt God.
Shut up, keep it to yourself, and continue with life.
I cannot live like this any longer,
re-trace:
Partying till morning and sleeping at 6am. All those temporary highs and getaways. Working and working till I feel so sick of working. I so cannot wait for school to start. On a sidenote, I want to go kiteflying, iceskating, skating, cycling, beach-ing, stargazing.
Any takers?
weeellll I’ll be disappearing after June 7th! So ask me!